Contradicting to my previous post, this one is solely about the worst of the worst of unemployment. At first, it was fun. Life's full of rainbows and sunshine. In the first month of unemployment, life is great. Why? Because you still have the money. Your salary. When you don't have anything anymore, like literally nothing, you won't feel happy. So not happy that you feel like you've lost happiness. This is a sad story. But true.
Few months of unemployment, you'll feel disastrous. Disastrous, I tell you! You will feel depressed af. You'll start questioning life. Your future seems blurr. You don't have money anymore. You're broke! You start dieting because you ain't got money to buy food. You start staying at home 24/7 'cause you ain't got no money to fuel your car. You live with your parents 'cause you ain't got no money to rent an apartment or house. You'll start to discard your pet 'cause you can't afford to buy its food anymore. You'll start to feel very depressed. So depressed that you even consider to cut yourself, which is crazy and you shouldn't do that.
You'll start to hate yourself even more. You'll start losing hope. You'll start feeling useless, hopeless and lifeless. You'll feel lonely but you want to avoid talking to anyone 'cause everyone else is working or studying or have something going on in their lives. You definitely don't want to feel left out and bumped. You're depressed enough! Months after months, you'll start gettin' mental. Literally mental. You'll start acting and thinking crazily. You're afraid you might become crazy and end up doing stupid things. You'll start losing hope even more. You'll waste time whining on social medias. You'll start losing hope even more and more! You'll cry unconsciously. You'll start questioning others' future by watching them on social medias. Like, looking at your former college mate and she's furthering studies, you'll start asking, where would she end up be after graduation? Will she become jobless like me? Will she feel like I'm feeling now? Or will she get a job right away? You'll start self-pitying yourself even though you don't want to. You know damn well self-pity ain't get you nowhere.
You seek for jobs here and there, send out resumes everywhere but no one calls, no one replies. You'll become even depressed. You'll start thinking of running away from home. But you won't do that because you're broke. You'll lose your laugh. You'll lose your smile. You'll lose hope. You'll feel like sleeping all day long. You'll feel miserable af. You're hopeless. All that is left is pray. All that is left.
