Selesai hantar Rayuan UPU

Assalamualaikum, guys. Lama tak jumpa! Apa khabar, geng?

Alhamdulillah, aku baru lepas klik SAH & HANTAR Rayuan UPU. Siapa yang kenal aku, tau lah dah berapa kali aku apply UPU dan juga Rayuan UPU. Bukan sekali. Bukan dua kali. Lebih daripada tu! Itulah kehidupan namanya, ya? Alhamdulillah. Apa-apa pun, sudah selesai pun aku menghantar permohonan rayuanku. Keputusan permohonan rayuan UPU untuk students-students Fasa 1: 26 Ogos 2019. Manakala, keputusan permohonan rayuan UPU untuk Fasa 2: 13 September 2019 which is, a little bit later than students yang ramai-ramai masuk awal September tu. Means, untuk kemasukan rayuan Fasa 2 ni, takde orientasi lah. Belajar sendiri lah selok-belok universiti secara on-the-job.

 Permohonan rayuan UPU ku

Aku justified lah sikit kenapa aku mohon program-program ni dan di universiti-universiti tersebut. Pertama sekali, Antropologi & Sosiologi di UKM. Program ni specifically ada #, which menandakan yang ada interview untuk join this programme. Bila aku akan dipanggil untuk interview ni? Aku pun tak tahu. Nanti apa-apa, UPU akan update lah kat Instagram dia. Aku suka Sociology. Sejak kat Kolej (Diploma) lagi. Aku suka belajar tentang pemikiran dan ideologi manusia. UKM kat Bangi. Aku pernah pergi UKM beberapa kali dah atas sebab-sebab yang berbeza. Dulu sekolah aku adakan acara Hari Sukan Sekolah kat padang UKM. Pergi? Pernah. Belajar kat situ? Tak pernah. Semua tahu lah yang UKM ialah antara Universiti Awam (UA) yang tersohor dan terhebat di Malaysia. Jadi, kalau dapat masuk sini, memang feel-feel academical lah gitu. InshaAllah.

OK, pilihan kedua aku ialah Antropologi & Sosiologi jugak, tapi yang ni kat UNIMAS. Sarawak, beb. Jauh. Tapi, syok jugak jauh-jauh. Dapat lebih banyak pengalaman baru. Dapat belajar budaya Sarawak dan bahasa mereka. Universiti dia pun nampak macam gah dan cantik. Yang penting, course tu yang aku suka. Kalau dapat sini pun boek jugak. Would be a challenge lah. Sebab ada vibe oversea gitu. Hehe. Nice. InshaAllah.

Pilihan ketiga ialah Pemakanan kat UKM. Aku suka makan dan makanan. Aku juga suka untuk belajar tentang nutrisi dalam makanan dan sebagainya. Tapi, sebenarnya aku tak suka buat experiment kat lab. Yang penting, aku suka lah apa-apa pasal makanan dan pemakanan. Jadi, apa-apa pun, kita tengok lah macammana. Aku harap aku dapat course Antropologi & Sosiologi lah sebab aku sangat sangat suka Sociology.

Pilihan keempat tu ialah sekadar nak isi tempat kosong je. Aku tak nak ambik course English for Professional Communication tu pun. Diploma aku dah English Communication. Aku nak belajar something new. Aku nak new energy. Aku suka English. Betul. Tapi, aku nak broaden my knowledge, inshaAllah. Dan aku sangat suka Sociology. Harap dapat yang tu lah. Dan kalau dapat, semoga Allah permudahkan segalanya lah. InshaAllah. Robbi yassir wala tuassir. Amin.

Kenapa baru sekarang aku nak sambung belajar setelah 3 tahun tinggalkan Diploma? Kenapa sekarang? Sebab baru sampai seru. Alhamdulillah. Niat nak belajar tu memang dah lama ada. Cuma, belum masanya. Lepas Diploma, aku determined nak cari pengalaman kerja. Aku nak berpijak di dunia nyata, realiti yang penuh dengan cabaran. So, alhamdulillah aku dah ada pengalaman kerja. Sekarang, aku fikir dah tiba masa, dah sampai seru dan ilham untuk aku sambung Degree. InshaAllah. Aku harap this is it. Semoga Allah panjatkan hasratku dan semoga Allah permudahkan segala urusan. Amin.

I ditched my job again

Hello, there!

So, it's been about a week since I left my old job. Well,  more like ditched. God, I still couldn't believe I quit yet another job in my life. That was my 7th job, y'know? I've quit 7 jobs now, and I started working at the age of 21. I am 24 now. D'you know how many times I've been jobless? Yes, 7! So, anyway, what I have been doing for the last week was housekeeping. I basically do the laundry, take out the trash, sweeping, folding clothes, cooking and feeding my cats. Oh, and also I did a lot of TV watching and I'm on Instagram and YouTube oftentimes.

So, I am thirsty right now, but it's already really late at  night, hours passed midnight, to be specific. So, there is no way I'm going downstairs to get my water bottle. I'll just wait after Subuh. Tonight I watched 2 whole movies and I loved them! I re-watched The Cheetah Girls 2 and I watched The Incredible Jessica James which was so interesting that I wished it would last longer. But, anyhow it's fine.

So, about gettin' a new job. Well, I'm a bit clueless of what I want to do with my life. I want a job, but I'm afraid I'd quit again and I'm bored of quitting. I want to indulge myself in a new life, new perspective, y'know? I want a steady job, at least one that I'd last for a year. At least a year. I'm totally out of money right now. I don't know whether I should work in Kajang/KL or Melaka. I don't know. I mean, I have to go to eye appointments every now and then at Hospital Melaka, and get my eyedrops at Klinik Kesihatan every month. So, I feel like I should work in Melaka, so it'd be easier for me to access my eye health checkup. But, then again, it wouldn't be such a hassle or such a bad idea if I work in Kajang/KL and have some time-offs once in a while to go to Melaka for my eye stuff. But, then again, that'd be a troublesome.

Y'know what? I really want to work in Melaka, because my hospital is there, my clinic is there. It'd be easier for me to go there, because it's near. Plus, Melaka house is like a real home to me. I mean, I grew up in Kajang, but now that it has been left for years, it doesn't seem like a home anymore, it doesn't feel like anymore. My mom's retiring soon, so actually I'd like to accompany her by living in Melaka. Plus, groceries would be free if I live there. Well, most of all, I actually would like to have a life in Melaka. I'm not sayin' I wanted to get married to a Malaccan and build a family there. I'm just sayin' I want to live there, work there, basically live there.

All in all, I don't want to leave my mother alone and my father as well. I don't want to be that daughter who gets married and lives with her husband somewhere far and rarely comes back home to see her parents. I want to be that daughter who lives nearby to be able to watch over her parents every now and then. But, before I could do that, I'd have to have a job.

I wish I'd get a job in Melaka. Amin.

Constantly in dilemma

Back at it again -- quitting.

I've quit so many jobs now. Today, well, specifically tonight, I sent a WhatsApp text to my boss, saying that I wanted to quit right away. It was my 2nd teaching job and I only lasted 2 days. The first one, I quit after 3 days. It is evident that I cannot teach and am not good with little kids. I'm hating myself right now for being selfish and savage. I don't just let my boss down, but also my relative who works at the same place, but started a week earlier. 

After I sent the WhatsApp text to my boss, my phone died, out of battery. Up until now, I haven't read my boss's reply. I'm a bit scared. I couldn't dare to read her response. 

I have a lot to say actually. But, all of them are super personal and private. I'm being hated by many at this moment. I have no idea how to deal with this dilemma right now. 

I think I'll be much much more quite after this. I'm very gloomy right now.