It's time to spread my wings

Hello, blog. Long time no see!

I miss blogging so much. Throughout my college studies, I used blogger twice for my assignments. One was for Critical Literacy back in semester 4 and another one was for my DNMC subject in semester 5 which was last year. I am currently in my semester 6. For your information, I have finished my 3 months of Industrial Training, alhamdulillah! What a journey, fuh! I have expressed everything about it in my Industrial Training report which I did submit to my academic supervisor, last Monday on the April 18th. I went to Kuantan that day, started off from home at about 6AM, right after subh. Alhamdulillah, report has been successfully submitted! The internship journey was one heck of a roller coaster ride. Full of ups and downs! Who knew working life would be so tough? Well, for a person who has never worked before, I think working life is super hard and full of challenges and unexpected circumstances.

I am on my break right now, waiting for graduation inshaAllah, around September or October, who knows? It's crazy to think about how time flew so quickly. Flashback to early 2013, when I submitted my application to KPM. I remembered not having any university placement back then. Bummer! Well, I did terrible in my SPM. I have to admit that I was lazy, then. I was glad to get into KPM as it is a very affordable institute. No joke! You get allowance of RM 300 every month and the entry fees is super affordable, that is an undeniable fact. Going back to present time, I am happy to say I have successfully finished my studies in Diploma in English Communication in KPM Indera Mahkota, Kuantan. Tears and sweat poured much throughout my 3 year of studies. I went mental in the last semesters. I still remember clearly when I was very stressed out because of friends and misunderstandings. It was just horrible. I couldn't handle the tense. In terms of workload, I didn't really have much issues. But when it comes to people with feelings and perceptions, that's tough, that's real deal. Nonetheless, I figured it was best for me to quit KPM back then, in semester 3. But, I pulled myself together, alhamdulillah I continued my journey. It was truly insane thinking back at that time. I almost quit, you guys. If I quit, I wouldn't be able to graduate this year. That is so sad. Don't ever give up okay kids? It's just horrible. Just stay strong and give your full effort until the very last drop of your blood and tears.

Moving on to the most frequently asked question which is to further studies or not to further studies after this? That is something that is always in my consideration. But, I have not decided yet due to several reasons. As I said earlier, I went mental throughout my studies. Indeed it was true. Every semester, I had issues, be it with friends or tasks. I am not sure if I am ready to experience all that, again. I need time to think and rethink about the pros and cons of me getting myself into studies life again. It is a big deal for me as I do have emotional problems, every now and then. So, to further studies or not, is in my consideration but I need a break, right now. Mental break, for sure. But, no worries, I am always going to learn. Everyday is a learning process and I shall never quit learning. I love learning. I am such a nerd. I am a focused student because I am devoted to my studies. But, nonetheless, it is just not the time for me to further studies yet. Hopefully, I will have a clear and rational decision about this thing, soon. Truly, I am sometimes feel like furthering studies as soon as possible because I just love gaining new knowledge! Perhaps, shockingly I would further my studies in other fields and not communication or English. Perhaps. But who knows? I am just praying for the best and I leave everything to Allah. I believe He has the best plans. 

I am keen to work. I have submitted my resumes to several companies, by hand and via JobStreet. I hope I will get a job soon, as soon as May if possible 'cause I really need to work. I need to gain experiences. I was a full-time student back then. During studies, I was all about books, assignments and getting things done. I was too focused on studies because I am a slow learner. I had to double my effort in lessons and everything studies-related. It was tough for me. I am not a genius. If I don't study or revise lessons, I am able to fail, easily. That clearly justifies the fact that I am not a genius, at all. Studies life was super difficult especially for slow learners like me. I had to be as resourceful as possible. During studies, I would seek for information through various mediums like books, reference books, researches, journals, lecturers, friends and seniors. In class, I was never a quiet student. I would ask so many questions to lecturers as to be crystal clear about the lessons. I put shame behind, collect all the guts I have and just ask! I will not be satisfied if my curiosities are not being fulfilled. 

Overall, I had so much experiences throughout my studies life that I will cherish my whole life inshaAllah. I wish my friends all the best in life. As for me, I hope I will get a job, soon. 

Love or obsession?

Hey there earthlings. It's been a while, yeah? College life is so friggin stressful. I didn't even have the time to post anything on my dear blog, even though I actually have tons to say.

Today I'm going to talk about not just love, but obsession as well. Last night, I watched No Need To Tell. It's a movie about a regular high school girl falls in love with a cute guy in her school, a senior. The senior noticed her and started dating her. Things got a little rough because he got clingy and over-jealous. Obviously, that boy's too obsessed with that girl and her love. The movie's ending part is the worst, the saddest. I deleted the movie once it's ended. I can't swallow the fact that such things do happen in real life too.

From a girl that has never fallen in love and never been in a relationship, I want to advise you guys and girls, don't use the word 'forever' with your lovers. It is basically the terms in Obsession Dictionary. It's a big no-no. Cut it out. There is no such thing as forever that you can be assured of. You can't see the future and you can't predict it. It's God's job. Don't get in the line. I'm not saying that love is not going to last forever and for eternal time. But, sometimes the word itself can make a person, a guy or girl becomes obsessed over the people that they love. Forever is a big word, you know. It's like the biggest promise in a relationship and a very irrational one, too. Forever is a long time. A person in a relationship would most probably think it as the truth and believe, eat and breath in it, hence he or she will become obsessively crazy of the respective person and this will most probably end in tears and blood, even. So, beware of your relationships and with your lovers.

Everyone wants to love and to be loved. I know. I too want that. But, we have to know that love is not everything. Having a boyfriend or girlfriend or get married, even, is not everything. Life is not all about that. If life is just about being in love, then this world will be one mess of love and selfishness. Everyone will go chase girls or guys that they wants to love or for some, maybe not even wanted to love, but to just fuck. Oh yes, these types of people should die and rot in hell. I mean, apa guna ada hati kalau tak guna? Mana simpati kau, empati kau? Apa jenis lelaki yang dekatkan diri dengan perempuan semata-mata nak have sex dengan dia? Lelaki dayus. You guys boleh pergi mampos. Life is not all about sex and having your lust being fulfilled. How shallow can you be? Cetek sungguh akal, sempit sangat minda, kalau kau tanam dalam otak kau yang kau cuma nak sex dalam hidup ni dan nothing else. Bodoh.

Back to obsession, you have to make sure that your lover is not clingy with you. That's the sign of obsession. Obsession means 24/7 with you and you are not going to be free to do other things in your life, but to only be with him or her. This sucks. Unless you're both obsessed with each other, this wouldn't been suck to you. But, for the one that bertepuk sebelah tangan, this would suck. Kalau dia tak suka kau, tak perlu terhegeh-hegeh nak curi hati dia or whatever shits that you're intended to do. Kalau perempuan cakap "Tak nak", memang tak nak lah maksudnya. Unless kau lembab, bimbo, kau tak faham bahasa melayu, kau akan buat jugak apa yang perempuan tak nak kau buat. That will make you a completely bebal and kebal dengan perasaan, hence, obsessed.

No one owns anybody. A person is obsessed with you if he or she says, "I own you," or "Kau milik aku,". Obviously dia bukan milik kau. Dia milik Allah. Come on lah, apa sangatlah ada awek, balak, whatever other shits that you call couples as. Apa penting sangatlah having relationships just to tunjuk kat orang? Riak? Menipu diri sendiri? Apa sangatlah post gambar gambar selfie just to tunjuk kat orang yang kau cantik dan untuk tarik perhatian lelaki? It's pathetic. You're pathetic if you do this. Come on lah, wake up and smell the coffee! Life isn't just about love. Get a life and love will come to you eventually. Cinta fake tu bersepah dalam dunia ni. Kau bodohlah kalau kau tak tau mana fake mana real. Bukak mata luas-luas. Jangan sampai kau dah tak boleh nampak mana salah dan mana betul. Beware lah sikit. Takkan dalam hidup kau, takde care langsung kat anything pun?

If you think you have clingy or obsession issue, please do consult a therapist. You might will put not just yourself in risk, but others too. It's okay if you don't get love or lovers right now, it's not a major need in life, you know. Just, enjoy your life being single and free for a while. When the time comes, it will come, he/she will come. God has planned it nicely. Don't worry. Kalau jodoh kau tak sampai kat dunia, kat akhirat nanti inshaAllah akan tiba. Dalam life ni, kita just perlu tawakal, terima dan redha. InshaAllah semua akan ok. Yakin dengan Allah. Percaya dengan diri sendiri. I'm actually not a negativist. I am a realist. 

Cara untuk mengetahui kita dilamun cinta

Salamm semua, it's me! Well, it's been a while. It really has been a while.

I was thinking of creating love stories and post them here. But, instead. I did other thing which is actually blogging. Jom kita mula dengan tajuk kita malam ni. Cinta atau bukan? Orait, yet another post about loooove. Why do I like to post these kind of thingsss. Well. No reason, really. Here, I'd like to tell you the ways on how can you make sure that you're in love or it's just lust. Or other things. But, definitely not love. Untuk tahu kitaa ni betul betul dilamun cinta, 

1. Kita akan sebut nama dia dalam doa kita. Minta Allah lindungi dia. Jaga dia. Sihatkan dia. Beri kejayaan padanya. Dan kuatkannya. 

2. Kalau dah doa tu, dah tentu tentulah kita nakkan dia sangat sangat. 

That's all mann. Tu je tanda dia. Bukan angau setiap masa, mandi tak basah, makan tak kenyang semuaaa. Bagi bunga, bagi ayat sweet sampai nak termuntah, bagi nyanyi lagu jiwang, call 24 jam, mesej tak berhabisss. Buat habis kredit. Not that. Thats just some lies. Thats not love. 

I guess thats all, internet people. Byeeeee.